Christmas Collections Launched!

Christmas is coming and we’ve been working overtime, just like the elves in Santa’s workshop. We’ve come up with some fun, festive designs that celebrate the season and honor our conservative, patriotic values. We’re excited to share them with you and hope that they make the perfect gifts for the conservative patriots on your Christmas shopping list.


Every red-blooded, America first, conservative patriot across the country has just one thing on their Christmas list. Maybe if we all write similar letters to Santa, the power of that collective request will enable him to grant our Christmas wish. Fingers crossed…in the meantime, if we wear that wish on a shirt, maybe it will help make it come true. It would probably help the cause if you wear this shirt as well:


Allow us to offer a variation of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas” by Clement Clarke Moore:

Away to the window we flew like a flash,

Trump pulled down his trousers and showed us his ass.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear?

But #F.J.B. tattooed right there on his rear.

And we heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Let’s Go Brandon - and to all a good night!”


It’s wintertime and when liberals cry (and you know they cry over everything) their tears freeze into snowflakes, because each liberal thinks they are as precious and unique as a snowflake. If you collect those frozen snowflake tears, when they melt they aren’t like a fine Tennessee whiskey; they tend to be overly saccharin and cloying. And as it turns out there is a Republican distillery in Washington D.C. that distills and bottles liberal tears, and AOC is the source of 85% of them. Get this mug and let everyone know that you drink liberal tears for breakfast:


Nothing says patriotic Christmas like the stars and stripes wrapped in festive lights. Any conservative on your holiday shopping list who says “Merry Christmas” will appreciate this glass or mug. This one is sure to become a patriotic Christmas classic.


And now for a festive Christmas song from President Trump (to the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”):

It’s beginning to look a lot like you miss me

Everywhere you go

Take a look at Joe Biden, he’s lying once again

His son Hunter is snorting lines of snow


It’s beginning to look a lot like you miss me

Empty shelves in every store

But the prettiest site to see is gas prices that will be

When the country I restore


We’re cringing in dreaded anticipation of Biden wishing the people of the people of this country a Merry Christmas…er, he’s toeing the woke line, so we’re sure he’s going to be careful to say Happy Holidays. But because for him the right words are so frequently just out of his grasp, we’re sure he’ll verbally bumble and stumble through the message. In fact, it will probably go something like this:


After Biden’s tedious, word-salady holiday message to the American people, patriots across the nation will stand close together with Christmas bells ringing. They’ll stand hand-in-hand, and those patriots will start singing, “Let’s go Brandon!”


Did you catch that Dr. Seuss reference from “How the Grinch Stole Christmas”? We’ve got a great holiday design that comes in a variety of glasses or as a mug that is straight up Grinchy. 2022 really hit everyone right in the gas tank, and we’re closing out this year with this festive glass:


This one doesn’t really need an explanation. Maybe we’re talking about candy canes, maybe we aren’t…


You’d better watch out, you’d better not cry, you’d better not pout, we’re telling you why…Patriots Cave really delivered with our holiday designs, and if you’re extra good, Santa will bring you your favorite. Merry Christmas!

Leave A Comment

Please note, comments must be approved before they are published