Get an Incredible Know Your Parasites Glass.
Somebody call up the Audubon’s outdoor guides. We need a new field book for spotting crazies. The first entry? Senile Democrat Politician. (Latin name Loco liberalus.) Identifying markings: Cotton-white hair, sidewalk-crack wrinkles, and hand gripping any nearby underage girl. Prime example: Joe Biden. CAUTION: Likely deranged. Extremely dangerous. Probably drooling.
Fill a glass like a patriot. Drink one if by land, two if by sea—and three if you’re feeling like it’s a party. Our USA-decorated Know Your Parasites glasses are your go-to drinkware for outfitting your home bar or making the perfect gift for the most red-blooded conservative of your friends.