Top 10 Funny Conservative Glassware At Patriot's Cave

If you’re reading this patriotic post, you probably know us well and visit us here often. But for those of you who are new here: Hi. We’re Patriots Cave. Like you, we are patriots and we’re here to protect, defend, and promote conservative values. And we’re really funny. We mean it, we’ve got a super fun, funny, quirky sense of humor. So what do you get when you mix our killer sense of humor with our conservative values? Some really funny, quirky, sometimes offensive glassware. But they’re only offensive to liberal snowflakes. You, as a patriotic conservative with a fantastic sense of humor, are going to love them. So much so, that today we are sharing our top 10 absolute favorite funny and quirky glasses. You ready? Let’s do this.

1. Biden. Ugh. You know that feeling you get when he opens his mouth and garbles out an incoherent sentence? Yeah, that sinking feeling. That feeling we all get when he finally, clumsily gets out something resembling a sentence or says some actual English words, and it’s just the same old crap. Whatever he’s said is invariably totally untrue and destructive to America. We’ve heard it before from Brandon, and every time we hear it again we get that sinking feeling in the pit of our stomachs. Well, it turns out there is a term for that feeling you get when you hear the same old crap from Sleepy Joe, time and time again. You’ve got deja poo. Since you’ve got deja poo, you should get our deja poo glass – it’s one of our favorites.

 

 

2. We’re all in an awkward relationship with the United States government, and let’s be real – we’re getting screwed. Daily. The least the government could do is buy us dinner first. Ha! Fat chance. They won’t do anything to make it easier for hardworking, tax-paying Americans, but the government is happy to be Ukraine’s sugar daddy with our tax dollars. Since the federal government is sticking it to us daily, we make it easier on ourselves by having a drink (or three) from this glass. Mmm, alcohol makes everything better…

 

 

3. Since you’re here with us, we know you love Trump just as much as we do. Screw the politically correct snowflakes, we enjoyed the mean tweets. We also enjoyed the economic stability and low gas prices. Trump just made us happy. Oh, you too? And if you’re like us, many other people don’t make us so happy. That’s why our Trump makes me happy, you not so much is another of our favorites. We like this version with the bullet embedded in the side, ‘cause it’s badass (like us).

 

 

4. Roses are red, Kamala’s not black, Joe had dementia, and Hunter’s on crack is one of our favorite glasses. We love it because it’s super funny, and because it prompted the Facebook “fact-checkers” to play two truths and a lie with us. Shortly after posting this glass to Facebook, it was flagged as containing “partly false information” and the “fact-check” article that Facebook linked to our post was titled, “Descendants of Jamaicans are Black Americans under Census guidelines & Harris was in 2^nd integrated class.” Cool, except that we don’t care. What we did note is that Kamala’s race was what was flagged as “false” – that was it, that was the only thing about that post that got fact-checked. So, it turns out that Facebook agrees with us that Joe has dementia and that Hunter’s on crack. Facebook chose to play the game, picked their lie, and by default the rest are truths. The corrupt first family has a patriarch that belongs in the old folks home receiving care for his cognitive decline, and a son that belongs in rehab and/or jail. We can’t help but smile every time we pour ourselves a beverage using this glass; it’s so funny. And it’s one of our best sellers.

 

 

5. Did your blood boil when the corrupt FBI raided Mar-a-Lago? Ours did. We knew that the government was corrupt, but geez, the government is really corrupt. It was a fishing expedition to try and keep Trump from running and being elected as president again. What the raid really accomplished if further deteriorating Conservatives trust in the current regime and in Democrat leadership in general, and we are more motivated than ever to vote them out of office. We know this is super serious, and not even remotely funny. But we like to crack a joke to get through the tough times, so we refer to the Mar-a-Lago raid as Sleepy Joe’s fishing expedition. He went fishing to see what he could catch, but his “fishermen” came back with empty nets. As Sleepy Joe put it, “Buy a man eat fish, he day, teach fish man, to a lifetime.” No, that doesn’t make sense, but Facebook already confirmed he has dementia. Oh, and look – we have that quirky glass, too.

 

 

6. “Let’s go Brandon” has become a conservative rallying cry, so of course we had to include an LGB glass in our list of favorites. We really like our proud member of the LGBFJB community glass. It says just about everything that needs to be said, and it’s pretty darn funny.

 

7. Abraham Lincoln was known as Honest Abe, which was a nickname he embraced with pride. He earned the moniker while employed as a store clerk while he was young. When he realized that he had inadvertently shortchanged a customer, he closed the store and walked to delivered the customer the correct change. As a lawyer and later a politician, his reputation for integrity and candor grew, and he was relied upon for his honesty. So when Honest Abe tells us that freedom is his second favorite f*word, we sure as $h!t believe him. After all, the Republican party is the party of Lincoln.

 

8. We’ve got an especially quirky glass for you. Many of us grew up on Chef Boyardee. We remember eating cans of his ravioli as kids. Well, make some room on your shelf for Chef boy are we screwed. His specialty is whipping up total disasters and we have definitely had our fill.

 

9. Biden has talked about his Catholic faith before, buy you may not know that his son is devoutly religious as well. Yeah, it turns out that Hunter is a practicing Crystal Methodist. In fact, he’s probably practicing his religion right now. This funny glass has sold out before, it’s so funny. Thankfully, it’s now back in stock.

 

10. Uh oh, there’s been a massive spill and it’s a huge mess. We’re going to need a whole army of stock clerks equipped with every type of cleaning equipment imaginable to tackle this one. We are advising everyone to stay as far away as possible, because even approaching the periphery of this disaster can result in your peril. This disaster is so big that it’s affecting the entire country. The only way to fix things is a clean-up on aisle 46. Yeah, you know that one is funny.

 

It was really hard to choose just 10 glasses to highlight (and yes, we know we snuck an extra one in there for a total of 11). If you like what you’ve seen, we encourage you to browse our site and see what else tickles your funny bone. Thanks for joining us, it was good to see you, and we hope to see you again real soon.